I’M approaching my sixth anniversary as a home-owning grown-up.
Time’s flown, but one thing mortgage advisors and older adults don’t warn you about is the mind-numbing visits to B and Q which come as standard with home ownership.
You kind of expect a few visits in those early days, but they don’t stop. If anything they become monthly trips - each eating away at you as your young adult years turn into middle-age.
You get a pesky leak, so you go there and buy whatever is required to fix it, or your partner just fancies wasting an hour perusing 56 shades of magnolia before making what you’d believe was a life-changing decision.
Its car park is generally filled with cars as boring as its paint aisles - diesel Golfs, a smattering of seven-seat MPVs with kids’ sticky fingerprints daubed on windows and a staple of B and Q - a couple of beige Volvos.
Volvo is a marque synonymous with family life. They’re practical, they’re spacious, they’re reliable and they tend to offer as much enjoyment as B and Q does.
Don’t get me wrong, there’s been a few stand-out stars in my lifetime, but on the whole V70 T5Rs are few and far between and for too long they’ve been a car bought by grandfathers.
But they’re aware of how they’re perceived by people like me, those who miss five-cylinder 850s warbling their way to wins on the touring car circuit, so their line-up today is becoming more appealing.
The new V40 is a common sight on the roads, and for good reason. It’s cheaper than its German rivals, it’s better equipped as standard and there’s a very good case for it to be a family’s go-to choice in that ultra-competitive sector.
It’s quite handsome, too, particularly in sportier R-Line trim, but can it shake off those connotations and inject some much-needed spice into Volvo?
Its sales figures would suggest that it has indeed done it. People with children want them to be packaged in something safe, and a Volvo offers exactly that, so young families are turning their attention to the brand.
In R-Line guise you get twin exhausts, bigger wheels and more aggressive bumpers. Inside, its typical Volvo fare - everything’s well-made, there’s a mass of buttons and space. I think its interior’s overall layout is good - the seats are particularly nice - but its design doesn’t exactly inspire.
Our car, which is fitted with a 2.0-litre turbo, only produces 150bhp and given it weighs a hefty 1,450kg, it’s not exactly light on its toes and quick to react. The manual gearbox is nice to use, but I can’t help but think an automatic would suit its character better.
Given its bloated weight, it handles surprisingly well - there’s a bit of roll through corners but certainly nothing you’d ever feel was a cause for concern.
But there’s just no stand-out aspect of the V40 for me, nothing to get excited about. You can see why they’re a sales hit because they do their job well, but being a steady six-out-of-ten at everything doesn’t necessarily translate into something you’d look forward to getting in.
Family cars don’t have to be boring - a 3-Series or even a Mondeo are great to drive - but the key ingredient is missing in the V40.
A step in the right direction it most definitely is, but it’s still wide of the mark.
