A YOUNG mum whose life was torn apart twice in a matter of months when both her children died is determined to keep their memories alive and is hoping to spread awareness about her loss to help anyone who may be going through the heartbreaking ordeal.
Giving birth is supposed to be the happiest time of a mother’s life, but for 19-year-old Amber Garland her dream has twice turned into a nightmare.
Her first son, Hugo, was born at 29 weeks due to the Monk Bretton teenager developing severe pre-eclampsia and heart failure during pregnancy.
He was delivered by an emergency C-section and she says that Hugo really did save her life due to complications which meant a ‘natural birth’ would have potentially killed them both.
But in August 2024, just three months after he was born, he died - leaving a huge hole in Amber’s world.
She told the Chronicle: “Doctors told me that if he didn’t arrive within seconds, we were both going to die.
“I was rushed in for an emergency C-section at just 29 weeks.
“Hugo truly saved my life.
“He was the most beautiful little boy with bright ginger hair, and everyone used to say he looked like a tiny old man.
“I fell completely in love.
“He spent about 49 days in the NICU in Barnsley Hospital.
“When he was three months old, I woke up in the morning and he was just blue.
“The ambulance arrived and they didn’t want to perform CPR as he was already gone.
“I never imagined something like that could happen to me.
“I was only 18 years old and losing him was the worst nightmare of my life.
“Many people don’t realise that this can happen to any family, at any time.”
A few weeks before Hugo died, she fell pregnant with her son Hudson - and she said that she felt as though Hugo had sent him to support the family while they were grieving.
She admitted the pending arrival of Hudson was somewhat a light at the end of the tunnel but, after he was born on January 22 last year at 29 weeks, Amber says she was ‘living in fear’ that she will live through the same ordeal.
She added: “He arrived perfect, but I didn’t get the chance to see him straight away.
“Although this pregnancy had been physically easier, I lived every day with fear about what could happen.
“In the weeks before Hudson passed away, I took him to A and E multiple times because I felt something wasn’t right.
“I was told by professionals that I was likely just anxious because of what had happened to Hugo, and that Hudson was a different baby and the same thing wouldn’t happen again.
“A week later, that same doctor had to perform CPR on my son.
“On May 14, my world fell apart again.
“I woke up to find Hudson lifeless.
“Doctors tried to save him, performing CPR for 45 minutes, but they couldn’t bring him back.
“I was forced to relive my worst nightmare for a second time. I couldn’t believe this had happened to me twice.
“When Hugo died, I received results within three months, and his death was labelled as SIDS.
“But SIDS was never an answer to me, it didn’t explain why I lost my baby.
“It’s now been nearly a year since Hudson passed away, and I still haven’t received his results.
“Deep down, I fear it will again be labelled as SIDS, and I still won’t have the answers I need to move forward.”
Amber is determined to keep her sons’ memories alive - and she’s now speaking out to support others who are going through a similar situation.
She’s amassed hundreds of thousands of views on social media sharing her story.
“All I can do now is keep my boys’ memories alive and continue going for them.
“By sharing their story, I hope more awareness can be raised about baby loss, premature birth, and the need for families to receive real answers and for parents’ concerns to always be taken seriously.
“Hugo and Hudson made me a mum, and I will carry them with me for the rest of my life.”
n There are services available from anyone affected by SIDS.
The Sands community supports anyone affected by the death of a baby.
Connecting with others can show you that you have far more in common than you expected.
Their helpline is open 10am to 3pm Monday to Friday and 6pm to 9pm Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday evenings.
You can also call them on 0808 164 3332 or email the team at helpline@sands.org.uk.
The Lullaby Trust are also available for support.
A spokesperson for the trust said: “The Lullaby Trust is a charity that exists to keep babies safe and keep grieving families supported.
“We give families a safer start to life, and create a supportive space for anyone whose baby or infant has died suddenly or unexpectedly.”
You can contact their baby safety helpline on 0808 802 6869 and their bereavement support helpline on 0808 802 6868.
