WHAT’S this? A column written in rhyme? Well, McMillan’s rhyming all the time!
A Chronicle column that rhymes and scans? Yes, because rhyming’s in his bardic plans, and rhyming’s in his DNA because he’s rhyming every day.
But this is not just any rhyme; this, my friends is a rhyme sublime!
It’s a Barnsley alphabet and it is the best one yet.
So let me take you from A to Z with all that rhymes that fill my head. Or let me take you from A to Z as they say in that land across the sea.
And when the alphabet starts you will spot that rhythm’s changed quite a lot; it is in a different style because this poet is versatile.
So join me on the alphabet ride, and I’ll see you on the other side!
A is for Ardsley and when I walk up the hill I get to the top and I have to stand still and gaze across the amazing view you get of the place and I’m telling you true that I’ve been to Paris and I’ve been to Rome but this is the view of the place I call home.
B is for Barnsley, a borough and town, that it seems to me shines like a crown; B is for Barnsley, a fabulous place, when I wander around there’s a smile on my face because I’ve been everywhere but this is the best (look: I’m tapping my heart at the top of my chest).
I’ll tell you what this rhyming’s harder than it seems; am I a bard? Well, I am in my dreams!
C is for Cudworth and Carlton as well; on a nice morning, air clear as a bell I like to stroll through their welcoming streets grinning and chatting to folks that I meet.
D is for Darfield the place that I live; come to our museum, it’s got so much to give. I’ve lived here all my life so far and I think I’ll live hear til my final ta-ra!
Blimey this rhyming’s a bit of a strain! My rhyming muscle’s in quite severe pain!
Still, I reckon I’ll persevere after a cuppa or maybe a beer.
E is for Elsecar. I like the park whether late in the evening or up with the lark; and we take our grandson there every week, it’s lovely and welcoming, really unique.
F is for Fire Back where some will say I should chuck this poem ‘how’s he get away with writing tripe like this?’ they’ll say in a voice that’s half rattle, half hiss.
Did you see then the clever way I rhymed Say with away and hid the rhyme in a broken line? You can tell I’ve a poet for quite a long time!
G is for Gawber and Goldthorpe as well; there’s lots of stories those places could tell.
Sadly there’s no time to tell them right here; I’m not far through the alphabet and the column end’s near.
H is for ‘how the heck am I going to do a rhyming tarn alphabet honest and true?’
No idea, old love: time to crack on before the space for this column has gone.
I is for Ian the scribe of this piece who can feel the pressure increase to do all the alphabet in’t space that he’s got. Is there much chance? I fear there’s not.
Crack on: J is for John that’s my brother’s name; it was my dad’s name and all ‘cos their names were the same.
Oh dear this alphabet’s veering off course. I’m like a jockey who’s fell off his horse!
Frankly there’s not that many words to go; If I could sum up my feelings they would be OH NO!
And while I am thinking of good rhymes to settle on, time slips away. I’ll put the kettle on. K is for Kexborough; now I’m back on track. It’s nowhere near Mexborough so tell that to Jack.
Jack who? You may ask and I’ll tell you true: it just fitted the rhyme so now you knew.
I mean now you know; this alphabet disaster couldn’t get any worse, now time’s going faster L is for Lundwood and M’s for My Goodness Me, I’m up to my neck in this alphabet sea!
N is for No Way Can I Finish This; this is alphabet horror not alphabet bliss. O is for O well; I gave it a try.
I’ll try it again sometime but for now: bye bye!
