BEAUTY is most definitely in the eye of the beholder but I’m sure most would agree that there aren’t many genuinely stunning cars available in today’s world.
There’s some absolute shockers. Hyundai’s new Santa Fe immediately springs to mind which looks like it’s been designed by a six-year-old using a ruler, but there’s some downright shockers across the board.
Remember the days when you’d notice something on the road and be genuinely taken aback by what your eyes are seeing? That’s only happened to me a handful of times in years and I can’t quite pinpoint why today’s cars just don’t invoke that schoolboy-like excitement in the looks department.
I saw a black-with-silver Ferrari Roma the other week and loved it, and I think Porsche 911s without huge wings are wonderfully clean in how they’re designed, but I honestly struggle to reel off cars unless you’re thinking of multi-million pound supercars from years gone by.
However, there’s one, and it’ll only cost you a fraction of that cost: the Volkswagen Golf R. To my eyes at least, it’s about as perfect as it gets. VW’s nailed its design in mark 8.5 guise and I think it’s a universally-accepted agreement.
You’ve got all the Golf R necessities - most notably its quad-exit exhaust - but I implore you to find a bad angle because I just can’t. It strikes the right tone between sportiness and classiness, something which only VW and Audi seem to get right in the hot hatch department.
Its interior, as you’d expect, is also fantastic. The seats are great, the quality is second to none and although the wrap-round look of the infotainment screen is aesthetically great, the heater controls will annoy you within minutes. The haptic nonsense simply must stop as it’s slow, dim-witted and a simple, traditional alternative would be much better.
Fire it up and your ears are met with a pleasing, purposeful burble emanating from its quad exhaust pipes. There’s Comfort, Sport and Race settings, and additional Drift and Nurburgring driving modes. The latter is the one I often plumped for as it puts the dampers in their softest setting - perfect for our deteriorating road surfaces - but at the same time it ramps up the aggression on every other aspect, whether it’s its gearbox, throttle response or suspension.
Under the bonnet, there’s the familiar 2.0-litre turbo which has appeared in countless cars, and it’s paired to a brilliant seven-speed semi-auto gearbox. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it - the engine’s a cracker and the gearbox remains one of the very best.
Get it on a fast, flowing road and you’ll be bowled over by its point-to-point pace. It dissects corners thanks to its sheer poise, formidable grip and in-gear punch on to straights, no matter what the weather’s like, and it can be leaned on thanks to that four-wheel-drive security. It’s trustworthy, it’s entertaining and it’d take something very special to keep up with a well-driven Golf R.
Sure, you have to have a trade-off with four-wheel-drive because it means it’s heavier and perhaps slower to react than a front-driving Golf GTI, but the all-weather performance it allows means the R is an accomplished, do-all companion no matter where you are.
It’s a performance car, which obviously forms the integral part of this review, but it’s most definitely worthwhile mentioning its practicality as well. I’ve two children - a four-year-old girl and a seven-year-old boy - who’ve become mini car reviewers themselves over the years but they too were bowled over by the R’s brilliance. It’s big inside, the panoramic sunroof adds to that effect, and the boot is cavernous.
The VW is a can-do-all hot hatch which is enormously good at whatever you throw at it.
