Well, the other day I was flicking through the channels.

There aren’t many things I know how to do with the TV, but I can flick channels.

Well, Gogglebox was on. Repeats, I think. I don’t know if any of you have ever watched it but I think I should apply to be on the programme as I certainly have a lot to say about most things on the television.

We have just watched all of Britain’s Got Talent, and constantly argue with the judges, usually about their appalling decisions. Even though we know that it’s all part of the game, it still annoys the life out of me.

I sometimes wonder if we’re actually watching the same performers as the judges – I’m constantly shouting at the television.

“Why would you put them through, they’re rubbish, you absolute idiots!”

Then Pete will look over at me and shout for me to ‘shut up’ – not very nice, but he does have a point.

Casualty is another one that I half-watch. I’m fine until someone has an injury then I sit for ages with the cover over my head, asking Pete to tell me when all the blood’s gone.

Coronation Street is the big one. Oh yes. We sit in front of the telly, me with my cuppa, but I can put money on it that we’re not far into it before I have to have a toilet break.

And I can guarantee that I go just before there’s a commercial break, which only infuriates his lordship even more. As if I know when there’s going to be a commercial break, I mean I don’t exactly have hidden radar in my bladder.

Pause… back down… continue… another cuppa break… pause. Then Pete will have to pause it another two times while I tell him what I think should happen.

By now I can see little bursts of steam escaping from his ears.

“Tell yer what,” he says. “I’ll turn the flipping thing off and you can just tell me what’s happening, because you seem to know more than the sodding writers!”

He actually pointed the TV doofer at me and said that he wished he could pause me. ME!

We like to sit on a Sunday and watch Four In A Bed. Well, last Sunday we settled down to watch it and I honestly couldn’t make head nor tail of it, then it dawned on us that we’d actually missed one of them – it took ages to find the missed episode for some reason and then when we were ready, you guessed it, I needed a toilet break.

Of course there are times that we don’t record a programme and it starts while one of us is out of the room, there’s always the panicked voice shouting ‘come on it’s on, yer don’t want to miss it’.

Sometimes when we’re watching something that we’ve recorded (I’ve stopped saying taped because the kids look at me as if I’ve lost my marbles) Pete will always try to run forward when the breaks are on, but there’s more times than not that he or the remote doesn’t know when to stop and we end up going right into the next part.

I do sometimes wonder if all houses are like ours – are families all over Barnsley sat doing the same thing? I think they do and someone has cottoned on, hence Gogglebox.

Maybe our TVs have cameras built in without us knowing and somewhere people are sat watching us all.

Well, I’ll bet they’re having a right old laugh.