THE MOST infuriating man on the planet got his very overdue MBE this week from the wonderful, epitome of dignity Dame Hilary, the Lord Lieutenant.

I say that about him with great affection because never did a son of our town deserve it as much. Graham Ibbeson, huge talent, lovely lovely man, annoyingly humble because he deserves the accolade in an era when too many honours are given to people just for doing a job, without any outstanding excellence.

Or because they know someone on the honours committee. Or they’re Nick Clegg (WTF.) But Graham has given so much of his time and his expertise over and above the call of duty and I am chuffed to be his friend.

He won’t have wanted any of the fuss because he doesn’t think he’s worthy. See what I mean. Infuriating.

Now back in 2021 when Graham so lovingly crafted the iconic ‘Kes’ statue for town, he would have refused the option of the site if he wasn’t assured – ASSURED – by the council that the unsightly posts near it would be removed.

A statue that didn’t cost them anything, it was privately funded and Ibbo donated his services free.

He has been passed from pillar to post (excuse pun) on the issue. The top council brass promised it would be sorted, I can’t tell you how many names have told us that ‘they’re on it’, the list is bigger than America’s most wanted.

And yet here we are FOUR years later. It would have been done had the statue been made by one of the council ‘pet artists’ they seem to chuck money at as if it’s going out of fashion and probably before the cement on the plinth was dry, yet for our finest artistic son – the expedience well is empty.

So, council, how about now galvanising yourself and giving Graham Ibbeson MBE’s statue the attention it finally deserves? The posts are ruining the aspect of one of his finest and most beautiful pieces for our town – for YOUR town. Enough is enough.

I was highly amused to hear the Chron gets complaints about me using my column to promote my books. Course I do. Why would I not periodically use the perk of a ‘speaker’s corner’?

So, a message, to the People Often Objecting, or ‘POOs as I like to call them, something to think on: when I’m putting it out there that I’m signing books at shops or in the market, who do you think gets the money? Do you think it goes straight in my pocket? Nope, it goes into the tills of local businesses.

That’s why I do it. To give a bit back. I get a mere coffee (if I’m lucky). The book launch events, that I’ve ALWAYS held in Barnsley cost me a small fortune. I could have a swanky launch all paid for in London, where I wouldn’t need to advertise in the Chron. But I don’t because it’s my way of saying thank you to the homegrown people who have supported me from the off. So, just thought I’d tell you that, maybe to save you a bit of ink. Although the POOs will probably write in now that I’m after a medal – ha! Must stink being a POO.

Just swerved a scam caller. My energy contract is ending and so when they rang to discuss options, I was ready.

But I did think as she was about to take me through security, they’d have all my answers then for future. So I ended the call, checked the number on ‘who called me’ and it was a scam company. Be careful out there, folks. You ring them.