Mum (this is interchangeable with Mug) often questions her sanity ... and wonders if she will ever learn ...

The two offspring (female, smart and particularly persuasive) know just when to launch their operation. Wait till she’s very busy, very mellow or when she’s had a glass or two of wine.

I recall it was the latter which got me into this latest cat-astrophe...

“Mum, wouldn’t it be lovely if we got a kitten? I read at school that there are loads of unwanted kittens who just want a home and someone to love them.”

Pictures of a fluffy little creature playfully scampering around the sitting room flit through mum’s slightly-befuddled mind. “Well, possibly, we’ll see ...”

Daughter Number two takes up the offensive: “It says on the internet that they make brilliant pets and that they’re really easy to look after and that it’s much, much better to get two ... it’s no extra work, they’re company for each other and they’ll be friends for life ...”

Two kittens? A sobering thought if ever there was one ... I desperately try to buy time: “It’s sounds easy enough but you’ve got to find them first and it’s a big commitment”.

They move in for the killer blow: “Hannah’s cat’s had kittens and they need homes for them. “PLEASE MUM”

I try to gain the upper hand: “They need a lot of love and attention and you’d have to help care for them ... it’s a claws in the contract.”

They giggle, not at the feeble joke but in victory.

So here we are ... having spent a fortune on cat toys (“They only become destructive if they’re bored”), a kitten ‘play centre’ complete with toys, house, scratching pole and HAMMOCK, blankets, pet towels, deluxe pet bowls and more ... the big day has dawned. So armed with pet carrier (luxury of course ... only the best for what must be royal additions to the family) we head for Hannah’s house.

We tiptoe into the kitchen ... no, I don’t know why either ... and there they are ... two little fluffy bundles ... one black and white, the other white with black and brown patches. Tiny, helpless, sweet, adorable ...

Mum’s heart is lost ....